Oh Eun-young's Reconciliation Courage to face the wounded inner 'me'

Issue date 01/10/2019
Number of pages, weight, size 320 pages | 660g | 152*214*30mm

200,000 copies sold commemorative recovery edition

To you who have to face the pain in your heart that you wanted to turn away from
Warm comfort and clear advice from Dr. Eunyoung Oh

We live as if nothing happened on the outside, but we all live with thorns stabbing ourselves in our hearts. Are there any of us who don't get sick? In the absolute relationship between parents and children, sometimes hatred, pain, resentment, and guilt grow and leave unresolved wounds inside. Because of that wound, many people struggle with the pain and burden of life without knowing why.

Acknowledging my feelings about the wounds I received in childhood, accepting that I am a being with various desires, and recognizing my true self will enable me to live with a sense of stability for the many days to come. As a psychiatrist, this book analyzes in depth the numerous painful stories that have been pouring in through mental counseling on the paper, where the pain of people who came to the author and poured out their broken hearts, not knowing what to do, came from, and how to deal with it. It contains the best advice that has been studied with agony.

Everyone feels that life is not easy, but those who experienced ambiguity and fear in their relationship with their parents in childhood have more difficulties living. To those of you who are too tired to sit down, to those of you who are tired enough, the author tells you to try a little harder to notice me. The you then, when you couldn't do anything, and the you now are different. This book gives warm comfort and clear advice to believe that you have the inner strength to say that you were hurt then and still hurt.

Index

· Opening | The ‘you’ who were in so much pain, who among us isn’t ‘you’?

Part 1. Parents, but...
How could I have done that as a parent?

- What kind of parents are they that are so sick?
-It's okay to hate your parents
-Not all parents are ‘parental’
- Say ‘I hate you’. Confess that it was “too hard”
- You may understand, but you may not be forgiven
-Keep your distance. don't try to be good
-If you separate your parents from me and study them as a different entity
-Why do parents remember only what they did well, and children only remember what they did poorly?
It was a love that gave more pain the more I loved it.

Part 2. So, I...
It's not your fault, then you couldn't help it

-I hate my parents, the heart that hates me is bigger under that heart
- I can't decide even the smallest things on my own
-I just put up with nonsensical things
- I hate doing it when I think it's what my parents want me to do.
-I keep meeting bad guys
- I can't say 'No'. Relationships are difficult
- There is no time to love because there are so many ‘should’
-Parents hitting me, me hitting kids
- Company people are bullying. Just look at the company
-I have sexual mysophobia. A child's sex education is a concern
-The child ignores the parents who did not go to college
-When it's too hard, I think 'I wish I could just die'
- I keep regretting in countless trivial daily life
- I feel abandoned even if I don't understand even a little bit
- Can I reconcile with my inner pain and that despair?

Part 3. But again, parents...
Don't be afraid, your child is not like you.

-You say you don't want to be a mother like mine
- Your child will never be as big as you. don't be afraid
- Why are you so sorry? Guilt is not maternal love
- Discipline is necessary. But don't be scared
- I think that the child is not really on my own
- The child who wasn't like a child was actually sick.
- Parents always have to reach out again
-Don't be too spleen in front of parenting, it's okay
-Don't take your child's feelings into your thoughts
- To develop self-confidence in children
-In the end, ‘warm memories with parents’ are the most important
-If the thought of wanting to grow well becomes too strong, ‘my greed’ in it

Part 4. And again, I...
If you know where the pain begins, you must also know where the happiness comes.

- Holding hands with my inner self is ‘reconciliation’
-“Is this something to be so sad about?” and talk to me
- Acknowledge the wounds I received and the desires inside me and accept me
-Don't suffer so much that the roots of my life are shaken.
- ‘Ah, I’m starting again, vigilance!’ I have to shout to myself
-If only you don't suffer, it's okay as it is now
- You're a nice person, but I don't like all of you
-Avoiding the things you hate more than dying is the wisdom of living in the world
-It is very likely that the path I am on right now is the best.
-I just do my best for the given day

· Closing | Forgive me every night before bed